May 5th
Dear Maine,
Happy Cinco de Mayo! And happy first real day for me in Maine!
It was awesome last summer, but it’s different now, because we are really here, on our land, and it’s for good. It’s been a long process, but we finally made it. Winter was rough. We are very fortunate to have wonderful friends who took us in and gave us everything we needed over winter, but when you know where your heart is and your body’s not there with it, it’s not easy. I did not enjoy being in an urban environment one bit, despite how much I loved being with friends, family and my yoga community.
First on today’s agenda was unpacking the truck. It really didn’t take that long at all. We made a few piles: things that go in the house immediately, things that can go under the eave of the woodshed (things that are weatherproof), and things that get stored in the carport. While we were unpacking, Brian came to see how we are settling in. He is such a kind, wonderful man. We are blessed to have him as our neighbor and friend.
We started early, because with no sense of time (clocks really make no difference here, so we don’t bother with them), we wake up when the sun does, and with no electricity, we go to bed when the sun does. These are making for some long nights right now, but as the days grow longer, we will grow more active. At any rate, we had the truck unpacked by about 10:00 a.m., which left plenty of time to get it swept out and the furniture pads neatly folded and stacked (not doing so will cost a $25 service fee!). There was already a couple things to take to the Salvation Army, so we dropped those off on our way to return the truck, which we had back a full thirty-six hours before it was due - and fully refueled! After dropping the truck off we did the thing I was soooo excited about doing: we picked up our trees from Fedco in Clinton! I was so happy to get them! I even hugged them once we got home. I got a Northern Spy apple, a Golden Russet apple, an Illinois Everlasting mulberry, an elderberry, a witch hazel, a high bush cranberry, some arnica and some wintergreen. (Guess who isn’t going to mind being effed over by Trumpcare because she can take care of herself…) I also picked up a rhubarb crown and some asparagus, as well as several varieties of seeds, which is jumpstarting our planting operation. Nate is now going to build a tiny greenhouse so I can get them started. I also picked up some compost and some germinating soil, so I’m all set to go as soon as we have a greenhouse!
We were a little too cold and tired to plant them at that time, so we tucked them in for the night, and I did a little more unpacking as we scrambled together a camp-style dinner (since there’s really no horizontal surface for any kind of food prep) and tucked ourselves in for a second night of sleeping in the container. It was a little chilly last night, but tonight should be warmer. The air mattress is good as long as we are both on it; if one of us gets up, the other hits bottom. The cats don’t know quite what to think of it. Mittens, as always, embraces everything with novelty and curiosity, while Willow sulks and hides until she has made a full assessment of every situation. The shipping container is no different.
But here we are for one more — and hopefully our last — night.
It’s great to be here, no matter where I’m sleeping.
May 6th
Dear Maine,
I woke up cranky today, feeling completely cold and overwhelmed with the magnitude of stupid possessions I need to go through. I feel kind of like this.
No, I feel EXACTLY like that little snippet from “Fight Club” (such a timely read) as I begin the process of winnowing out possessions from a life I no longer have — or want. It’s daunting, because I need to make space in the house for us to live and work. I will manage. Somehow. Sign.
Plus sleeping on this air mattress has been murder on my shoulders.
So my first priority, after eating an entirely insufficient breakfast, was to get the bed sleepable.
Let’s talk about breakfast first, though. Breakfast is my most important meal of the day, and I never get bored of eating the same thing. I normally eat bacon, two scrambled eggs with nutritional yeast, gelatin, collagen and hot sauce, hot water with apple cider vinegar and honey, yogurt and possibly fruit, if there is any. For the last two days I’ve been eating Kind bars and the occasional apple for breakfast. Insufficient. And part of the reason for my crankiness. I need my good breakfasts back ASAP!
As intended, I got the bed sleepable, and with all the layers, starting with fleece sheets, which, if you haven’t tried them, are an absolute must in any cold climate, followed by one of those super soft fuzzy blankets, a down comforter in a thick velour cover, and finally, a heavy crocheted afghan. It looks mighty fine. Can’t wait to try it out.
So, our things were stored in a barn for the last year, where they were totally protected from the weather, but not entirely protected from the mice. I kept finding bits of fiberglass insulation and some sort of yellow stuffing all over the place, and I ultimately found the nest they made in my grapevine wreath, but I still haven’t found the source of the yellow stuffing. Thankfully, it was NOT the bed, the couch or the loveseat, which were the only things that really mattered. Must be some sort of cushion or other. But at any rate, important things were wrapped in plastic, thankfully, but from all the rodent climbing and nest-making, all that plastic is covered in mouse poop and mouse piss. So Goal No. 1 was to remove all mouse-piss covered plastic from everything. It did its job; none of our stuff was ruined by the mice (unless you count a few rogue feathers and rope they chewed off of stuff).
Once the stinky plastic was all off, I was motivated to turn the loft into a somewhat more manageable place with access to our clothes so that we could change out of the clothes we’ve pretty much been wearing since Wednesday.
Let’s talk about that. People change and wash clothes waaayyyy more often than necessary. When we eat clean, it’s cool out, and we’re not really breaking a sweat, we really don’t smell, so our clothes really don’t get soiled, unless we’re working in the soil or something. So, yeah, aside from my underwear, I haven’t changed my clothes since Wednesday. Haven’t showered either, and I feel and smell fine. It’s a new way of life out here, and warm running water is not immediately accessible, so cleaning is an entirely different matter. I have, however, been washing my face and brushing my teeth, so those shouldn’t be falling out or anything.
It was a super rainy morning, and around noon, I decided I wanted to go into town (and by town, I mean our small library and general store about five miles away) to check out the library and use the internet so I could write to you.
I forgot, however, that this is small town Maine, and any ideas I had about being “productive” were quickly crushed as soon as I sat down at the table and started my “work”. You see, Maine people are the BEST people (which is a large part of why we want to be here). When I first sat down, there was only the one guy (who I later learned to be Paul) on his computer. He was wearing headphones, so I figured he was serious about whatever he was doing. Plus I’m used to New York where people just aren't that friendly. So we worked in silence for a little bit, and then Bob came in and everything changed! Bob noticed a picture of our house that I had up on my screen and immediately started asking about it. This turned into a wonderful two-and-a-half hour conversation that even involved Paul from time to time, as well as Bob’s wife, Brenda, who is the librarian. I loved it! I learned about Bob and Brenda’s beginnings in the area (which aren’t entirely unlike our own), and I learned about the things that are keeping them occupied now (their home burned down a couple years ago, so a lot of their energy has been directed there, and they have seven grandchildren who live right next door as well.)
And this is how Maine people are. Bob offered plenty of advice and even the use of his generator if we need it. Bob (and Paul and Brenda… and Scott, who came in right as the library was closing and joined the discussion for a few minutes) is a warm, kind, sincere man, who really made me feel welcome to the community. We are fortunate.
I love it when my heart is filled with so much gratitude that it feels like it just might burst.
And I know with absolute certainty that this is where I belong.
Anyway, my letter that day didn’t end up being as long as I originally thought it might, because talking with Bob was so enjoyable that I knew letters could wait.
After the library, I grabbed a couple things at the general store and headed home. I chuckled to myself as I noticed a thought I had while I was driving down our not-yet-graded-after-mud-season dirt road: “Well, there are a couple of spots that aren’t too horrible…” Ah, the power of positive thinking… It is what it is. Our dirt road has been wonderfully maintained every time we’ve been up here, but we haven’t seen it before its spring grading, and it’s a big ol’ mess of potholes! It’s kind of fun, actually, seeing if I can pick the most efficient path through the minefield. It’s only a mile till it turns paved, and even that’s not so bad at 15 mph. What’s the rush anyway?
When I got back home (yes, home), the rain had let up, so Nate and I decided to at least get the apple trees in.
She may not look like much now, but I think she’s beautiful. This is my Northern Spy, which is my favorite apple of all time. I can’t wait to taste her first ones… in about 2032!
That was all we had the energy for today, really, because this cold, damp, rainy thing (which can end at any time now, by the way, Maine) is strangely tiring. Or maybe I’m still catching up on sleep after running myself ragged those last couple weeks in New York.
We noticed a pair of killdeer earlier. I love killdeer. They’re so interesting! First, they have that really cool “kill-deer! kill-deer!” call, and second, they do the broken wing dance if you get too close to their nest. We knew there had to be a nest not too far away, because they kept acting injured and leading us away from a particular spot. We, of course, didn’t want to accidentally step on it, knowing that killdeer nests are barely nests at all.
Well, we found it, and we marked it with a flag so we wouldn’t accidentally step on it if we got too close. It’s amazing how well-camouflaged those birds are! Can you even see her?
This should make it easier. She’s doing her dance to lead me away from the nest, and to do so, she spreads her tailfeathers, which are a fairly bright orange.
After we were done playing with the killdeer, we got the rest of the orchard in. It may not look like much right now, but this is going to be awesome. Heck, it already is.
And that pretty well rounded out our Saturday evening. I’m very much looking forward to a good night’s sleep…. in bed!!
May 7th
Dear Maine,
It’s Sunday. Feels like we should rest, but there’s so much to do! Instead, we just took it relatively easy. I made a lot more progress on the house (in terms of getting stuff put away). I also made more progress on the book I’m reading.
Days of the week really don’t matter much up here.
We got the rest of the plants in (the wintergreen and the black cohosh) for now, and then we explored the trails Nate has been making along the perimeter of the property. They’re great… except for the damned ticks! I’m thinking more and more seriously about getting guinea fowl.
I’m thinking more and more seriously about so many things… Sometimes the magnitude and velocity of my mere thoughts is overwhelming.
I didn’t even leave the homestead at all today.
That was wonderful.
May 8th
Dear Maine,
More of the same. The days are really starting to blend together. I finished my work on the house today, so it’s entirely livable now. There’s still way too much stuff, but it’s at least organized in a fashion in which we can work with it. I ventured to the general store to get some veggies (bagged salad counts!), but that’s about it.
This really is the way life should be.
May 9th
Dear Maine,
It should be fairly obvious that I’m really writing about the past five days today. It’s amazing to me how quickly all the time has just blended together, with no moment being particularly remarkable, but with all of them being incredibly remarkable. There is so much time for reflection.
And that may be part of the problem.
I’ve been designing a college course I would like to teach. That’s a new idea I’ve never had before. And more importantly, I’m doing less, and being more. And just… listening.
First, here’s the mundane stuff. Because I know everyone is curious…
This is what it’s like inside. Pay no mind to the excessive amounts of unnecessary human possessions in these photos.
Here’s our loft:
I’m amped about the loveseat (reading nook!!!), and we plan to put a casement window over the bed, so it won’t always be this dark (and let me tell you, at night, it’s dark). Where all the stuff is stored along the sides next to the knee walls will eventually become closed-in storage in the form of closets and built in drawers. The bed will also be built up onto a platform that has drawers for storage as well.
Next, we have the living room, with the French doors.
Then we have the kitchen.
And finally, we have the only two actually closed off interior rooms: the bathroom (shower and vanity) and the WC (So European! This is where the toilet, letterboxes and utility room will be.) The bathroom is in the corner, and the WC is nearer the stairs. The dining table fits perfectly next to the WC and the stairs, and is right in front of the French doors for an awesome view.
I really do marvel at how quickly I’ve forgotten even the past two days. So let me tell you about today, and what’s become a “typical” day.
Last night was COLD. I mean COLD. Cold enough for me to sleep with the computer in the bed so it wouldn’t get too cold and cold enough for my iPad (easiest way to read without internet or lights!) to have condensation on the screen that I would swipe when turning pages.
We typically wake up when we wake up. Which usually means somewhere around 6 am, but we don’t really know because we don’t turn our phones on until our morning routine is complete. And, of course, we don’t have any clocks. Then Nate gets up and goes to the container and starts the wood stove, while I stay with the cats and do my morning meditation. Then I join him in the container where we do our morning yoga and other exercises. Then we head back to the house for breakfast (which, I hope will soon consist of bacon and eggs again!!). After that, we start our day.
Today we went into Bangor for a couple things. First, we dropped off another Salvation Army load (which included the bathroom scale, becasue that seems stupid anymore), then we went to Hannaford for some groceries, then we took the longest trip to Lowe’s… we got most of the stuff that we need to rough in the electrical and for Nate to start working on the greenhouse. I can’t wait to get those seeds started.
I LOVE how everything here is just happening organically. Like the greenhouse. It wasn’t planned, but then I bought the seeds. And the garden. I was looking at the spot Nate had staked off, and I asked out loud, “Is this a good place for a garden?” And I heard a voice say, “A medicine wheel goes here.” And I asked, “Can it be both?” The answer was, “It can.” Now, I’ve only ever even heard of a medicine wheel and don’t even really know what one is, but I know I need to make one. So I ordered the book about it today.
But that’s how things are occurring… exactly as they are meant to.
And I love that this afternoon, I decided to write to you (which I should probably do every day since so much is happening), so I just came down to the container where it’s warm and started writing, which, now that I’m done with the horrible practice of law, I am actually enjoying again.
On my way down, I decided to check in on the killdeer and see if I could get a better picture. This time, I got pretty close, but she (or he) eventually blew the whistle and vacated the nest. I wanted a picture of the nest anyway…. and this time there were four eggs!
And at one point, I decided I wanted tea, so I made tea. I was walking across the clearing carrying my tea, with it not being blistering cold (for once) and the tiny sliver of sun actually casting my shadow, and I realized that, yes, this IS the way life should be. How much of our time do we waste on things that don’t really mean anything anyway? That serve not ourselves nor the common good, but only serve the machine.
I’d better stop before I become philosophical.
But there are certainly worse things than this.
May 10th
Dear Maine,
Today I kind of went back on grid to an extent. I took advantage of Brian's generous offer to use his laundry and shower while he is away for a couple days. I also washed the dishes in a real sink with real hot water. Nate and I have very different definitions of "clean"...
I don't really quite know what to do with myself all clean.
When I got back, all I did was lie on the couch and read my Nat Geo. It's the first time I've lain on a couch in over and year, and it was wonderful. I've been compiling my to-do lists and just generally existing today. My computer is running slowly, so I need to take it in to have an expert figure it out (I'm not a computer person, and frankly, even though technology is "convenient", I get very frustrated with it and on the whole find it to be more trouble than it's worth. But, it is what it is, and it's how I stay connected to the larger world, for better or for worse.
I prefer off the grid to on. Surprisingly, I'm fine with the not showering thing, and I'm more than fine with the pooping in a bucket thing, but what I do find hard to live without is refrigeration. That has climbed higher up on the list of priorities.
This computer is too uncooperative to continue for now.
Until next time...
